73 – ‘The Incidents’, ‘Death In Texas’ and ’24 Knots’
“When two brothers and two strangers met in the rough, tough, seedy back alleys of Kettering town, Northamptonshire, little did they know that on that dark hazy night their lives would be changed forever. For when a spicy-smelling meteorite crashed into the ground between them, they were exposed to a mysterious cosmic radiation not seen on Earth since at least the 50s, and recognising the tremendous burden they now carried, the four boys became…THE INCIDENTS!
With awesome super powers and great haircuts, The Incidents fight crime and songs in excess of 5 minutes (except the ones by The Smiths) in all their forms, composing symphonies of heroism in the key of justice! The Incidents are…
ALEX SMITH – Alex Smith has a voice that could as easily shatter glass as make a wolverine purr. But that’s not the radiation talking; that’s something you’re born with. No, the radiation accelerated Alex’s pheromones to the extent that he needs to wear a specially made waistcoat simply to suppress the otherwise uncontrollable sex appeal he now exudes. You have been warned.
SAM GILBERT – When Sam’s fingers mutated into guitar-twangin’ machines the likes of which the world had never encountered before, an unexpected side effect occured.The mysterious radiation caused vast quantities of his blood to transform into pure Brylcreem, resulting in a mighty coiffure that Elvis himself would approve of.
HENRY HUDSON – Henry’s the stylish one of the group. With suits that would make Sinatra himself look like a hobo, Henry was the least affected by the deadly radiation that the band encountered thanks to the fine Saville Row tailoring he had chosen to wear down the alleys that night. Though he has the bass playing skills of a mere mortal, it was discovered when he mooned an unwitting police officer that on dark nights the sun can be seen shining out of Henry’s ass.
HARRY GILBERT – The youngest member of The Incidents was the most affected by the radiation. While this elevated his drumming skills to those of a god, it had the unfortunate side effect of driving him completely, bat-shit insane, which can be seen in his whirlwind performances behind the kit night by night. It also created in him a crippling weakness: alcohol.The Incidents quickly discovered one tragic night that their powers were ultimately limited; they could run out at any given time, especially on stage and especially under the influence of the powers of their evil arch-nemesis: Booze Man. Seeking sustenance, our intrepid heroes ventured in search of the earthly substance that most closely matched the oozings from the martian meteorite within the walls of Londis, and discovered the awesome rejuvenative powers of the One True Beverage. With rock-and-roll and ginger beer in their hearts and bowels (sometimes respectively, usually not) the Incidents set out to save British guitar rock from people without super-powers, recruiting as many to their cause as super-humanly possible!”
Death In Texas:
“Death In Texas are a 3-piece progressive pop band, from London. Fusing epic classically inspired piano, a pounding rock rhythm section, soaring vocal melodies and progressive-leaning song structures, Death In Texas explores the darker side of pop and the grandiose side of rock. Described as the spawn of King Crimson and Latin pop, expect heavy, theatrical music, full of drama and soaked in talent.
“A rock/blues/indie band hailing from glorious South London.”